Lord, help me. I know I asked You to use me, but why do I have to mess up and hurt people when I'm representing You? You know how much I hate that. I don't understand.
Your laws are to protect us. They have always kept my heart straight, they have always kept me from doing stupid things. It's not just a tradition, it's because of the relationship I have with You, and You tell me what's right.
Why does his hurt make me hurt? I don't even know this guy. I consider him a friend, but why on earth should I hurt like this, just because I've disappointed someone I don't even know? Just because someone is confused? Why did You make me with this heart that hurts for everyone, even when they're probably not hurt? Why do I rejoice with people I barely know, just because they're happy? Lord, I don't want to be a skinflint, but my heart is such an easy mark that it's pathetic. I cry for people I don't know, I pray for 6 years for a dog to come back home.
You listen to me though, despite my littleness. You bring back my dog, You hold me tight, You use me despite the fact that I don't know what I'm doing. All I know is Your Word, and that I only know because I've been taught it from before I could talk. Lord, help me. My wisdom isn't enough. I don't have the strength to tell people anything, I don't have the wisdom to put things rightly, I don't have the ability to touch people's hearts. Sometimes I don't even know what's right in Your eyes. I need Your wisdom, Lord, and I need Your love. The love you wrote about in Corinthians: patient, kind, never envious, never boastful, never proud, never delighting in evil but always rejoicing in the Truth, always protecting, always hoping, always perservering, and never failing. I need You, Lord.
Thanks.
6 comments:
"I don't have the ability to touch people's hearts."
...so not true!
I don't. That's God. Often I'll be talking to someone and I'll close my eyes and pray and just beg God, "Please tell me what to say! Tell me what You want to say!" I can't do it on my own, I need His advice and, more then anything else, His love and support.
That's the simple truth.
I already said the simple truth. {=0)
Happy Birthday to your Dad. I hope you both have a wonderful day. Good luck on the cake to! Let it cool all the way before icing. (As if I needed to tell you that...) I always get too anxious and end up ripping the top layer off!
I'm going back to bed...
Take Care,
Jeremy
Thanks, Jeremy.
*laughing about the cake* I'm actually really good in terms of cooking, although for ages I had the hardest time making cookies. Shrimp chowder I could make with my eyes closed, pavlova was a cinch, I could make anything except chocolate chip cookies!! I finally figured the durn thing out and now we're all happy. I'm sure the cake will turn out great, and thanks for reminding me to wait!
Have a good sleep! I'm getting to work now; maybe I'll see you this afternoon. Regardless, Godbless & may you sleep peacefully.
Cilla
Chocolate Chip cookies still give me a hard time. When my Dad makes them they are thin and almost crisp in a buttery kind of way. When I make them they turn out like bread and taste totally different. I don't get it.
Shrimp Chowder sounds really good, I just ate some hot New England Clam Chowder chunky soup. {=0)
Pavlova, I'll have to google that one.
I have tried to have a good sleep. I sleep but I don't it's weird. The mixture of drugs really has a strange effect on my body. Antihistamines basically make me a lump of immovable mass so it feels like my body is out, sleeping. The pseudoephedrine in the nasal decongestants keeps my mind awake and racing. It's not a really comfortable mixture of physical and mental states. So now I feel the need to apologize for staying away. I know it's not necessary I just felt the need to.
That was neat, I kinda did future and past without the present...if that makes any kind of sense...lol
Have a good evening with your Dad!
Take Care,
Jeremy
Chocolate Chip cookies still give me a hard time. When my Dad makes them they are thin and almost crisp in a buttery kind of way. When I make them they turn out like bread and taste totally different. I don't get it.
Shrimp Chowder sounds really good, I just ate some hot New England Clam Chowder chunky soup. {=0)
Pavlova, I'll have to google that one.
I have tried to have a good sleep. I sleep but I don't it's weird. The mixture of drugs really has a strange effect on my body. Antihistamines basically make me a lump of immovable mass so it feels like my body is out, sleeping. The pseudoephedrine in the nasal decongestants keeps my mind awake and racing. It's not a really comfortable mixture of physical and mental states. So now I feel the need to apologize for staying away. I know it's not necessary I just felt the need to.
That was neat, I kinda did future and past without the present...if that makes any kind of sense...lol
Have a good evening with your Dad!
Take Care,
Jeremy
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