God, You've got to help me out. I'm getting too proud o'here. It's a good thing that people being mad at me doesn't bother me much anymore, but I prefer being crushed under it to looking down my nose at the person who is insulting me. I keep on getting hit with the "facts" that I'm better educated/can spell/don't resort to insults/am right and although I keep all this hidden (especially when it comes to Shelly), I feel the difference inside me. This isn't how You want me behaving! Every time I realize I've done it I get this dirty feeling inside my heart and I feel like I've swallowed something distasteful. Lord - free me from this. I've tried and I can't.
I was able to get together with some dear ladies at the church last night and they prayed with/for me against something that has been attacking like crazy: depression. Sometimes I get so tired of fighting this old foe off; but I remember what it was like to have "him" around every day and the constant watchfulness required to plead the protection I have under Christ against him is more then worth it. I had reached the point where I was knuckling under, but God worked it out so that I could get prayer and the result is that I feel free today - I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Also, God placed a couple of words on Dottie's heart for me and those were very uplifting. It's such a comfort to me to know that not only will God pull me up into His lap and cuddle me when I need it, He'll put it on people's hearts to come over and pray for me when I feel too tired to lift it up anymore. Thanks, Lord.
I'm happy today. Not everything has been perfect, but then I'm not perfect either and I probably shouldn't expect my life to have nothing wrong with it 24/7/365! I've a little left to get done this evening, but it's of the sort that will be simple, if long, work and I'm looking forward to it.
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