If you put mozzarella, chicken, chopped onion, and a tad of garlic salt together on some toasted Italian bread, you get something that tastes delicious and necessitates the use of Listerine multiple times during the day. Eat it too often and you'll also get high cholesterol - but who under the age of 30 worries about that?
I had a good, long chat with God last night. There are so many things I don't - can't - understand. I feel like I've lost so much, but at the same time I've gained a good bit too. So much in my life has needed to change just in the past few weeks. This has caused a lot confusion in my personal life. One manifestation of that confusion has been my being completely oblivious to what day it is. My studies would have suffered if I wasn't able to keep abrest of them with relatively little concentration and effort. *laughs ruefully* I need to snap out of this.
On the bright side, I've been reading the Bible more. Not as much as I need to, but more. Also, I had Dad send me a ton of stuff on Apologetics and I've been periodically weeding through that - this is the kind of stuff I love doing. The hardest thing I'm facing is feeling lonely. Not full time, but sometimes I'll be sitting at my desk and I'll feel like crying. I miss my friends, I miss the people I love, and I miss being loved not as one of many, but as the only one. I have this incessant need inside to be special, to be singled out. I miss talking with close friends, I miss hugging people and just hanging out. God helps ever so much with that. He keeps me afloat. To quote Kutless, "It doesn't feel the same / And I'm feeling down / Amidst my pain / I see all my shame / And I'm feeling dry, but who am I to complain / I'm still free / You've set me free".
One thing I really love about God is the way that, when He promised He'd give peace and joy, He meant it. He knows exactly what friends to keep as strong supports in my life, He knows where I need to lean on Him. It's a really great thing to feel safe.
Lord, keep helping me through this.
11 comments:
To me loneliness is not being known or thought of at all. If that is the case you should never feel lonely. For the past week not a single moment has gone by that I haven't thought about what you would have to say about whatever I may be thinking at that moment. As far as being the only one loved, you are a very unique person and the only person I 'Love' in the way that I love you. That may not be very comforting but yeah. lol I also believe you have been singled out and are very very special. That's something God has shown me that I paid attention to.
On a completely different note, He has confused me again. The outcome of our prayers was not what I expected. I expected it to be fixed. Well, it is not fixed BUT it is no worse and given our track record, that is an amazing feat. He is working something so I am still surrending it to Him.
Thanks for all your support and I hope I can be a pillar for you when you need it. Stop feeling lonely, your always thought of at every moment of everyday by someone.
Jeremy
surrending...hmmm WAKE UP JEREMY!
I'm sorry not everything worked out the way you thought it would - but I'm really glad that you're surrendering (*grinning*) it to Him.
To me, loneliness is missing the people I love and wanting them to be with me. Nonetheless, knowing people are thinking about me makes me smile.
Thanks for what you said.
Godbless.
Cilla
Surrendered and all better. We are all feeling a bit artistic today too, I'll post some pictures on my blog later on. What a beautiful day.
Your Welcome and keep smiling because it is true.
Jeremy
*wearing a huge smile because of that first sentence*
God is awesome.
I'll be looking forward to those pictures. In the meantime, back to transcription!LoL!
Cilla
God is awesome and very proetective of Chickens, that being me. First off, I'm in a hung over daze, head throbbing, eye's closing, clear thoughts not being formed but I have to tell you my adventure. (No, I am not bragging about that, I hate the feeling!) God is awesome in what he did for my family yesterday but something made him pretty angry when we were at the bowling alley. Brief history, I'm from the coast (as you may have already guessed at some point) and am very used to Hurricanes. I love a category 3 hurricane. Throw me in the middle of it anyday. Any higher on the Saffir-Simspon scale I get worried. Now for Tornados I think I may be the biggest grown up baby when I have to deal with those, which luckily has only been twice after last night. We were in the lounge portion of the bowling alley and the weather was on one of the televisions they had. Weather intrigues me so I could sit and watch live satellite imagery for hours if there is a storm on it. Well the storm I just happened to look up at had very deep dark purples and some white in the very center coming straight for us. No one thought anything of it but I was getting worried for the simple fact that the last time I went through one of those deep dark purple storms here in Austin I was hid in the closet under blankets and pillows. Anyway, you could start to hear the wind howl as the storm approached. Being the curious storm lover I am I went to the doors to check it out. The wind gusts looked somewhat similar to a Hurricanes in the fact that trees were blown sideways, the only difference was the swirl in the air. A few times someone would open the doors that led into the foyeur area which took you to the main doors. When they did that the wind was so strong it about knocked to females down standing by the door. The very next second, the roof feel through the foyeur area. The hail was like none I had ever seen before. You could hear it slamming the building. After seeing the roof cave in and the hail I begged my group to get away from the windows but noooo, they wanted to see how cool it was. I heard the train, grabbed Penny's hand and drug her into the mens bathroom. (Most walls.) 5 minutes later it was gone. What a trip, I was scared S@*$less. It was very crazy. Now today we get to go through the joys of taking pictures of over 100 hail dents and a broken side view mirror. I'll put pictures up later on if you can see all the dents good enough which I'm sure you will be able to.
Nauseous and still very tired. I'm going back to bed.
Nice, I just checked wunderground.com and we have another line of storms coming. Nothing like last night but they look like they could blow up pretty bad. http://www.wunderground.com is the site, it is a great one for anything weather. Just type in the zip of where you want to look at. Mines is 78664.
One more thing, my head hurts.
nite.
Jeremy
You like storms too, huh? That's great. I'm actually the same way - I love the way the air feels and/or smells just before the rain starts falling. The lightning is classy too!
I'm sorry you've got a hangover.
It sounds like you had a very interesting night last night!! The last time there was a tornado in my area was this past hurricane season, when all of them ripped through Florida like a puppies in a china cabinet. Full points for your very original response to the swirly-cloud-thing! Did you ever consider trying out for The Day After Tomorrow?? And do you have any idea what I'm talking about when I mention that movie? (asking because we watched it last night. Most of my family got a huge laugh out of the sheer impossibility of the situations + the corny lines & therefore thought the whole thing hysterical. My sister, on the other hand, was convinced it could happen in real life - so we tried to restrain our laughter. The result was interesting to say the least!)
In any case, I've got to head to Kinkos - special print job to pick up. See you later!
Godbless & have a wonderful Easter (yes, I know that's tomorrow!! *grins*).
Cilla
YES, I love storms. I really miss the storms on the coast. The mixture of salt water and fresh, rain cleansed air is something I will never forget. I love watching lightning. I have only been able to get two bolts. That was with my old camera though. I haven't been able to capture a storm with my new camera. I'm really scared to take it out. A single drop of water on it freaks me out. {=0)
I like your sister. I know exactly what you mean when you say, "The Day After Tomorrow" Yes, it has ridiculous happenings that are quite humorous. As far as the janitor opening the door to see nothing but destruction, wouldn't he havebeen swept away by the pressure. Or how long the glass kept cracking when the one man feel through the shopping center. How about how the pay phone worked underwater? Or when everyone somehow miraculaously made it to Mexico with our wonderful traffic infrastructure. How the Mexican cops didn't rob all of them. How the Vice President was yelled at by a subordinate. What about when fuel froze? Space shuttles do ok. Or even how they guys were able to get away from the wall of water as it were coming for them at the New York Library. But still, I LOVE THAT MOVIE. It grabs my imagination and the scenario it presents makes all the logial sense in the world if you can think on a very large time scale. Tell your sister I'm with her, it can happen. The scenario that is, not two planes going down at onec due to turbulence. {=0) I have seen it at least 30 times and am now beginning to memorize half the lines in the movie. Pathetic, I know. Sometimes I'm ammused by small things.
Hope Kinkos was a blast. I get a kick out of the copiers that staple for you. Technology is amazing these days I tell ya. heh heh
Oh Yeah, can't forget about the guy that was standing in LA reporting on how real the danger was then poof, he was gone by a big billboard. I love that part, I'm not sadistic though. Sadistic's second meaning, not first....lol
Happy Easter to you as well. I really hope you have a blessed one. It's going to be great with Morgan, I can't wait.
Take Care,
Jeremy
"It can happen..."
Buddy, tell me when global warming starts. So far, it's just a hypothesis and one that's been disproven at that. (Don't tell that to Al Gore though -- hey! Isn't he the guy that invented the internet?!LoL!)
While you've named a ton of my favorite parts in that movie, the line I thought took the cake for corniness came right at the end. "Have you ever seen the air so clear?"
The guy has (?had?) at least a wife down there if not a couple of kids too (this we learned in the beginning of the movie), and his first concern isn't whether or not they made it, isn't if the world will be able to recover from this blow. Nope, it's "Shucks! The smog is gone!! Isn't that wonderful? *classic Goofy laugh*"
Also, I liked the touch the bjillion twisters coming down all at once in LA gave the movie - that was fun to watch (sheerly because it's impossible & therefore I was able to ignore the destruction). Like I said, I love storms!
Despite the clear agenda, it makes my list as a funny movie.
Have you gotten Morgan all his stuff for Easter or do you get everything Monday once it's gone to 50 or 60% off?? (I have to admit that we do the latter)
I'm sure you'll have a blast and also I'm positive Morgan will. Wish I could see the excited running about - but I'll settle for watching Chris run around seeking out that ever-elusive basket!
Godbless!
Cilla
Hmmmmm, we would argue forever about global warming. How is it not happening? I'm not an expert on anything but I read alot, and no I'm not a product of what I read or brainwashed by the media, I am very skeptical and make my own thoughts based on what I have lived, it is a sort of knowledge that just comes to me. Global warming is happening because it is time to. It would have happened if we were here or not. We just sped up the process by introducing all the man made compounds into the atmosphere. The Earth goes in cyclyes, over millions of years of course. Things chage, history has proven that. That change is not immediate though, so yes we are in a global warming trend that could, like the movie suggests, alter the currents of the ocean (which is proven to drive climate) and changes the worlds weather patterns drastically. I don't think anything life altering will change as far as nature goes in our lifetime or anytime soon but it could happen when I write the next letter which is w by the way.
We do have Morgans Easter stuff, with him being an only child we have always had his basket setup for him when he woke up in the morning. God has really blessed us this year with Easter. The girl that I told you despised religion and picked up a Bible bought him a bunch of easter stuff. (We have 9 dollars to our name right now so he wouldn't have had much of an Easter.) Regardless, it isn't about the candy and easter eggs but it sure is fun for a kid. I'm sure you guys celebrate what truly needs to be celebrated on Easter and as far as waiting for Monday, that's pretty smart. Double the candy if it's half off! Buy me a bag of peanut butter cups. {=0)
What's really cool is we are doing something different this year. He didn't get to go on an Easter egg hunt this year (long story) so the Easter Bunny left him, or is leaving him, a letter saying there are 12 secret eggs inside the apartment and he has to hunt for them. Each egg has some sort of goodie in it. That letter will be with his basket. Our baskets were hidden from us and my dad liked to torment so if we couldn't find it we didn't get it. They made it difficult too to find those darn things. Morgan gets his in the wide open...lol
You'll be able to see some of his running about...lol I'll post some pictures. I'm putting some up now of his basket the way it is set up. I would be more comfortable if I had an e-mail to send them to instead of plastering stuff like that on the net. If you don't want to give me an email address I'll give you a gmail invite and you can make an email I can use so there are no excuses. {=0)
I see you on messenger but it says you are sleeping. That's what I need to be doing. If I tried to write and you responded I would be up forever wanting to talk to you. I am going to try and go to bed but in all honesty I will probably sit here for a bit to see if you reply to this....lol
Happy Easter!!
It's time now. {=0)
Jeremy
"I would be more comfortable if I had an e-mail to send them to instead of plastering stuff like that on the net.
Ok. Check your gmail account.
Cilla
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