"Blessed are the poor in spirit [the people with no strength in and of themselves; in the original language, a poor person who threw their whole trust on God] for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."
My friend Heather has cerebral palsy. She's in a wheelchair; she cannot speak, feed herself, or brush her own hair. With effort and a special keyboard, she can type, and so it is through email that I truly know her and have seen her precious spirit. As I stood next to her on Sunday in the worship service, God showed me something that brought tears to my eyes and left me emotionally prostrated. He showed me how much better off than me my friend is.
I am distracted by what I'm "doing" - my biking, my work, my cleaning, my writing, my packing, my coffee - but she is not, because she doesn't have these things. I am always so busy, often forgetting to speak with my Father. She is not; He's the only one who understands her and her greatest joy is pouring out her heart to the One who truly knows. I often close my ears to what He's saying, telling Him, "No. I don't want to learn that yet. I'm enjoying this." She hears and rejoices, because what He has for her to do is what she can do, and she loves feeling His pleasure.
And, standing there, I wept and wished that I was close enough to Him to wish I was like her. I'm not. I'm such a mixed up little being - I want so very much to look good and have poise and enjoy living all out, but I also love Him. So I seek His face and, when I listen, He reminds me that "by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect." I'm a nut, but He made me that and loves me. Come with me, Father! Laugh with me! Dance with me! Live with me! Rejoice in what I'm doing - lead me to what You want me to do. Come into me and fill me up so that I overflow.
No comments:
Post a Comment