ACCORDING TO YOUR LOVE

You say suicide is "a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

Fools. You don't understand: a permanent solution is exactly what's being sought. Your analysis of the outcome is quite correct. You don't understand the motivation behind the process. You haven't grasped the concept of "end[ing] it all." Faced with a sincere desire for a set course, your mind twists into knots.

"You have so much to live for!"
Haven't you read Paul?

"What about the people you leave behind?"
They'll catch up soon enough.

"You don't know what might have happened."
True, but I know what will.

"Don't you trust God to work it out?"
That's the rub, isn't it? If I claim I trust Him, then shouldn't I wait patiently to see His will? Yes. I do believe He's working it out. I know He'll make it right. I just don't know what "right" is. I don't know what I'm to do.
I'm worn out. I feel isolated, dirty, used, and discarded.
I'm tired.

Oh, please, want ME. My God, my God, I'm tired.