Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
I have said things and done things and been things, based on what I heard You say and what I believed You wanted, that cannot be changed and that have changed the course of my life. I am not who I was. I do not yet know what I will be. I know only what You said.
Like Abraham, I have left behind the place and position I held. I have plunged off the edge; I've held nothing back in my search for this thing You promised me. My God, I do not understand. I'm trying to live like I believe. Do not let me be destroyed. Give Your servant wisdom & fill her with Your love. Enable Your servant to understand Your will and to bless those with whom You have set her. My God, make me Joy.
You are my loving Father. Hold us tight.
Sep 27, 2008
Sep 11, 2008
ACCORDING TO YOUR LOVE
You say suicide is "a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
Fools. You don't understand: a permanent solution is exactly what's being sought. Your analysis of the outcome is quite correct. You don't understand the motivation behind the process. You haven't grasped the concept of "end[ing] it all." Faced with a sincere desire for a set course, your mind twists into knots.
"You have so much to live for!"
Haven't you read Paul?
"What about the people you leave behind?"
They'll catch up soon enough.
"You don't know what might have happened."
True, but I know what will.
"Don't you trust God to work it out?"
That's the rub, isn't it? If I claim I trust Him, then shouldn't I wait patiently to see His will? Yes. I do believe He's working it out. I know He'll make it right. I just don't know what "right" is. I don't know what I'm to do.
I'm worn out. I feel isolated, dirty, used, and discarded.
I'm tired.
Oh, please, want ME. My God, my God, I'm tired.
Fools. You don't understand: a permanent solution is exactly what's being sought. Your analysis of the outcome is quite correct. You don't understand the motivation behind the process. You haven't grasped the concept of "end[ing] it all." Faced with a sincere desire for a set course, your mind twists into knots.
"You have so much to live for!"
Haven't you read Paul?
"What about the people you leave behind?"
They'll catch up soon enough.
"You don't know what might have happened."
True, but I know what will.
"Don't you trust God to work it out?"
That's the rub, isn't it? If I claim I trust Him, then shouldn't I wait patiently to see His will? Yes. I do believe He's working it out. I know He'll make it right. I just don't know what "right" is. I don't know what I'm to do.
I'm worn out. I feel isolated, dirty, used, and discarded.
I'm tired.
Oh, please, want ME. My God, my God, I'm tired.
Sep 8, 2008
light-lover in a storm
I live like I play soccer
full-tilt, all out, I grin
easily forgetting that
pain hurts, we’re not all God
For myself I care nothing
but I don’t play alone
and if you’re hurt my world explodes
(Life quick-bright-gone, like fireworks)
I play by running harder
falling more and rising faster
caring more about performance
than “harm's way’s” locale
Next day’s sore and limping
Next week’s bruise’d still
but if I pleased you, all is well
and if I’ve failed then
that I’m hurt
doesn’t make the list of my concerns
full-tilt, all out, I grin
easily forgetting that
pain hurts, we’re not all God
For myself I care nothing
but I don’t play alone
and if you’re hurt my world explodes
(Life quick-bright-gone, like fireworks)
I play by running harder
falling more and rising faster
caring more about performance
than “harm's way’s” locale
Next day’s sore and limping
Next week’s bruise’d still
but if I pleased you, all is well
and if I’ve failed then
that I’m hurt
doesn’t make the list of my concerns
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)